Whirlwind
Kit
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Joined: Aug 2007
Gender: Female 
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|  | Whirlwind [of] Windclan
« Thread Started on Aug 18, 2007, 5:56pm » | |
Name:Whirlwind
Gender:Male
Age:Three years old
Rank:Warrior
Clan:Windclan
Description: Strong body sat atop the cold rock, sunlight bouncing off the pure white fur of the Angora. Seeing his face was a total shock, for the tom only had one light gray eye on the right. The left was a dark socket with a scar of a claw’s slash. Leaping off the stone, the feline would wander off towards the camp barely muttering a word.
Quick Desc.: White Angora tom.
Picture: http://www.cat-world.com.au/images/Chelsea.jpg
Personality: Quite, cold and skeptic.
History:Whirlkit was the brother of Stormkit and Nightkit. Their father, Cedarheart, was a black angora while their mother was a smoke-point angora named Bluesky. Stormkit, their sister, was killed by white cough when she was five weeks old. Whirlkit’s life was silent as soon as his sister died, barely speaking to anyone other than his older brother, Nightkit. At five moons, Nightpaw and Whirlpaw sneaked out of camp and had a fight with a rouge. This caused Whirlpaw to lose his left eye; a vertical scar of the rouge’s claw went through the eye. A black socket replaced Whirlkit’s eye. This accident made the leader wonder whether Whirlkit should be a Warrior. Whirlkit, fought for his right and soon became an apprentice at seven moons with his brother, both being held back one moon because of their foolish attempt to leave the camp. Whirlkit, now Whirlpaw, was in the hands of a mentor named Moonfeather, a gray Russian Blue she-cat with blue-green eyes. Though she was calm, Whirlpaw hated that he was being treated as if an elder, because that’s what it felt like. He was a helpless kit, that’s what she thought he was. Whirlkit couldn’t prove her wrong, though. With only one eye, things looked odd. It took him over seven tries to catch a mouse. Each time he got something wrong, anger boiled up inside him. All that anger melted away when he finally got his Warrior ceremony. He was named Whirlwind, for his ability to think quickly in all sorts of situations. His only family left is his brother, the only person he would talk to. He lives in fear of the rouge that had stolen half of his vision and in fear of the forest being destroyed.
IC: Whirlwind looked around camp. Cats were lazily lying around. The tom decided to go hunting for any prey that had managed to survive the traps. He picked up the scent of a mouse. He crouched down and flicked his tail. The warrior jumped, the creature was half-dead. With one quick blow to the head, his neck soon snapped. He carried the prey back to camp. Whirlwind placed it on the pathetic looking fresh-kill pile. He would now watch the border, other than lie around like an old elder. Climbing up a tree, he was far from the sight of any two-leg. He bent his head low and kept a steady watch along the border.
Password: Traitors
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Minty-chan
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Joined: Jan 2005
Gender: Female
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Location: IL, USA
| | Re: Whirlwind [of] Windclan
« Reply #1 on Aug 23, 2007, 7:08am » | |
The name 'Whirlwind' has already been used on the site, so you can't use it I'm sorry. =\
Also, I need you to rewrite some of his desc. Do so as if you were explaining 'he has a strong body with glowing white fur' rather than your first sentence, etc. You're making it sound like you're roleplaying him moving around, but that isn't needed. You can just state everything. =]
In addition, you need to make your personality much longer -- several complete sentences.
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